Comics Review Pt. 5: Another Marvel Blitz

Spider-Gwen #1:

Um. No. Just…no. I don’t know any teenage girls who talk like Gwen Stacy does in this book. I took a pause in reviewing to make sure that it was removed from my pull list. Eurgh.

Ms. Marvel #12:

Oh hey, an actual teenage girl. Written by a woman. Hm. Seems to be making a difference. Sheesh.

Loki! Loki is in this one! I love how Ms. Marvel gets so many crossovers and visiting characters. Loki gets mistaken for a Brooklyn hipster. This is fucking precious in the best possible way.

Bruno, you are awesome:

ms marvel bruno friend zone

Loki spiked the punch at the school dance with truth serum and some of the truths are fucking gold, including some of the truths Loki ends up spilling at the end after being doused with punch.

There’s not a lot of action in the story, beyond a brief fight between Kamala and Loki. It’s mostly enriching some of the emotional arcs–Bruno’s crush on Kamala, her desire to do normal teenage things like go to a dance and flirt with boys, and Loki’s desire to resolve issues with brains and not fighting.

Captain Marvel #12:

Carol returns to her ship to find that Tic and Chewie are gone and her ship is about to be attacked. So, not the best day ever. Unfortunately, she makes a tactical mistake and flies her ship into a funky bit of space that is going to slow her down by a lot. In the meantime, Chewie’s captors are planning to use her as the ultimate weapon and then kill her when they’re done. I suspect that won’t end well–for them.

Black Widow #15:

Oh, Phil Noto. Your artwork is magical and I look forward to getting something signed by you at Planet Comicon. Hopefully my friends will prevent me from babbling like an ass.

Starts out with Nat getting her ass kicked by Chaos, but the Winter Soldier comes in and saves her! Nat and Bucky then chase down a falling helicopter full of bad guys. She then gets captured by one of the bad guys. She’s not having a good time this issue and frankly, I’m kind of annoyed that the writer has her agency so affected by men in this issue. She’s saved by Bucky. She’s captured by a mystery man. One of the things I like about Black Widow is she does things, so it’s frustrating to me that this issue is all about things happening to her. Hopefully the next issue picks up.

Loki: Agent of Asgard? #11:

Ehh….Asgardian bullshit. Um, let’s see. Loki is exposed as the echo/killer of kid Loki (I would explain, but frankly, that’s a headache I don’t feel like experiencing). Freyja exiles him from Asgard. Sif thinks he might not be so bad after all. Loki goes on a navel-gazing journey in a space between the Realms and has a chat with Odin.

Odin sets Loki on fire (he’s a great father, I tell you) and sends him back to Midgard. Where…another Loki is waiting for him. King Loki. He’s an ass who drives off Verity and then promises to tell Loki all about how he fucks everything up and becomes King Loki. I hope I can survive this arc without removing Loki from my pull list due to sheer boredom.

Thor #5:

Oh fucking hell, more Asgard. Apparently Odin’s all butt-hurt because Thor now wields Mjölnir and the hammer and title no longer belong to Odinson.

There’s a two page spread of Thor fighting Absorbing Man that appears to be written for the guys who whined about Thor being a woman. Fucking magical. Thank you for that, Jason Aaron. I think I need your signature now, too.

Odinson talks to Odin and tells him that yes, he gave Thor the hammer and the title and no, his father does not need to go and snatch it back. It does appear that Odin may be slightly loony tunes at the moment. Not only is he butting heads with Odinson about Thor, but he’s also brought his murdering brother back and named him Royal Inquisitor and Minister of Justice. Odinson is not on board with this decision, seeing as how Cul tried to kill him.

Odinson and Sif have a heart to heart, that ends with her threatening to fight him the next time they see each other. He appears to have a special talent for saying the exact wrong thing.

Next we see Thor on the moon, where she’s warned by Freyja that Odin is somewhat put out and will be throwing a temper tantrum in her direction sometime soon.

She-Hulk #12:

It’s the end of this wonderful book. I’m going to take a moment to pout.

Now that’s done, time to recap! We find out what the Blue File is all about–apparently Nightwatch killed off an entire town to convince the world he was a good guy. Might have had a bit more emotional depth for me if I knew who the hell Nightwatch was.

So, there’s a fight. He puts a whammy on Jennifer and she beats up Patsy on his command. Angie Huang (paralegal extraordinaire) breaks the hold he has on Jennifer so she can then capture and subdue Nightwatch. The action scenes are clearly illustrated and I am going to miss the artwork in this series so very much.

Angie tries to quit, but Jennifer talks her out of it because they’re got a big case coming up against Jennifer’s old firm. The next mission? Defending the Inhumans in a lawsuit. I hope that She-Hulk gets her own series again soon.

Cameo: Howard the Duck. Because his #1 issue will be coming out next week. Yeah, no. You probably won’t see me reviewing that one.

Comics Review Pt. 4: Everything But Marvel

Doctor Who: New Adventures with the Tenth Doctor #3, 4, and 7:

Awww….cute reaction by Gabby when she saw the TARDIS. I always love seeing people’s reactions to the TARDIS. And she gets to go on a trip! She keeps this up, and Gabby is going to jump the favorite companion rankings above Martha, Clara and possibly Amy.

New TARDIS definition: Threshold And Ridiculous Domain of Insanity and Supercool. Also? It makes a noise like an elephant and a piano bringing sexy back!

Issue #4 is told as a letter/journal entry from Gabby’s perspective and I really like the style. It’s mostly sketches and notes about the Doctor and the TARDIS, with storytelling panels mixed in.

And then apparently I missed a few issues? Next in my stack is #7, which has changed stories. Um. But hey! Weeping Angels! World War 1! This promises to be interesting. I’ll have to go dig through the back issues at the shop to get #5-6.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 10 #12:

Starting out with a heavy-duty Spike + Buffy (Spuffy! I’m a shipper and admit to it) conversation in which she declares her interest and he shuts her down. He then goes to moan to Xander about acting like a wanker (yep!) when a muscle-bound Andrew busts in the window. Um, back the truck up? Brief break for a fight with a meat golem (they are definitely getting the hang of writing for comics!) and Andrew kissing a dude. Go Andrew!

Awww….the empowerment potion that gave Andrew all the muscles and brawn was fulfilled by him finally kissing a guy and he’s back to being tiny Andrew again. So cute. Unfortunately, Xander agrees and supported Andrew so very much that Andrew freaked out and ran out of the building.

Cut to Buffy and Spike picking up their earlier conversation. Buffy says it’s okay to just be friends and then Spike! tells! her! that! he! loves! her!!! Cue the apartment-shattering sex that has Xander worried for his maquettes, Giles pissy because he’s been de-aged to childhood and can’t legally have sex for years, a cute scene between Xander and Dawn and then a scene with a post-coital Spike so happy he’s terrified.

Wytches #1:

Eeeeeh. I like Scott Snyder’s writing, but this just didn’t do too much for me. I prefer a cleaner art style and frankly, I’m a wimp. Scary stuff does nothing but make me stay up way too late and jump at noises. I probably will give this whole series a pass. One could argue I’ve already done that, since I’ve missed three issues.

Velvet #8 and 9:

Normally, I don’t get into spy stuff. Bond, Bourne, bah. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is OK because, the spy stuff is mostly incidental. Black Widow is cool because it’s more about her journey than her spying.

But Velvet? There’s a lot of spy work in here and I love it. Maybe it’s because the reader is privy to her decision-making process. Her spy suit is awesome–in #8 she was able to use it to glide into an open window and discovered it’s bulletproof.

Issue #9 is starting to set up the next step in Velvet’s story. She’s set an ex-spy turned nutcase free and is trying to get him to tell her who is behind her husband’s death. As it turns out, he’s even more slippery than she is and manages to escape. She has a bit more information now, but it’s not entirely correct and there’s a cop pointing a gun at her. I’m ready for the next issue already!

Rat Queens Special: Braga #1:

This issue has a guest artist, which I’m assuming is in preparation for the switch to a new artist due to the previous artist’s arrest for domestic violence.

The issue focuses on Braga’s backstory, where we find that she used to be Broog, the prince of the Orcs. While she enjoyed the fighting and the killing (like you do, when you’re an Orc), she didn’t enjoy the pressures of being the prince or being at war for the sake of being at war.

So yeah, Braga is a transgender character. The artist and writer did a great job framing the story by having Braga talk to her guest and tell him about where she came from (cue the flashback pages!). Geeked Out Nation does a much better job recapping the issue than I ever will.

Bitch Planet #1-3:

I think it’s been documented by now that I love Kelly Sue DeConnick. Pretty Deadly is an amazing series and Captain Marvel pretty much defines kickass.

Issue #1 introduces us to Bitch Planet. Excuse me, the Auxilary Compliance Outpost. In this world, when women step outside of bounds and are non-compliant, they get sent to jail on another planet. If, say, a guy wants to get rid of his first wife so he can marry a younger, hotter woman, he can pay a fee to get his first wife sent to Bitch Planet.

Issue #2 starts the thread of the story. After watching a fellow prisoner be killed and blamed for the death, Kamau Kogo is presented with an offer by the prison: Create a team that will compete on the feed. She declines the offer, saying that she doesn’t want to have her dignity stripped away. The other inmates talk her into taking the offer and tell her that they’ll be in a position where they may be able to strike a blow against the Council.

Issue #3 focuses on a specific prisoner: Penny Rolle. Her crimes? Insubordination, assault, assault, assault, repeated citations for aesthetic offenses, capillary disfigurement and wanton obesity. It starts out with Penny in a creepy room of monitors, filled with a bunch of men staring at her and telling her that there’s something wrong with her, they just want her to be happy, why is she so angry? Emotional abuse 101. We learn about Penny’s background–taken away from her non-compliant grandmother at a young age, told she doesn’t look right in the orphanage, listening to men threatening women for rolling their eyes, and women being excited at the idea of getting an intestinal parasite so they can lose weight. After Penny is arrested for beating the crap out of a guy, she’s forced to hook up to a mirror that will show her what she truly sees as her ideal self. The awesome part: the mirror ends up showing Penny as she already is. She’s fat, she’s black, she’s unapologetic about it and she truly likes who she is and what she looks like. Sadly, in the world of Bitch Planet, this is what gets her sent to jail.

At the end of each issue, they have a two-page article about feminism. On the back cover they have an ads page, like you can find in the back of magazines. Bonus points for the note to Leelah on the back of issue #2.

bitch planet 2 back page

Quote of the Week

“My theory is that people in this day and age want to dismiss things. So they want to be able to dismiss you. They say, ‘You don’t belong, you don’t deserve this because here’s why, and let me find an intellectual argument for why you wearing pink or cuff sleeves or a bow makes you not worthy of your accomplishments. Everything you’ve done doesn’t matter because you wore the wrong thing or you speak in a way that’s feminine or you identify yourself as feminine.’ And I just think that’s bullshit.”

Zooey Deschanel, Marie Claire interview

Links Roundup – 2/18/15

Singin’ in the Rain is one of my favorite movies, at least in part due to Lina Lamont, who is one of the greatest underrated comic characters I’ve seen on film. Every once in a while, you realize something awful about a book, movie, or song that you’ve loved since you were an uncritical child: this is actually kind of shitty to women. Upon reflection, the treatment of Lina Lamont, which is played for laughs, is pretty damn shitty. Will this stop me from ever watching Singin’ in the Rain again? No. Will this make me a little sad when I do watch it again? Probably.

If you’ve ever been by my Pinterest, you may have noticed that I enjoy Mid-Century Modern decorating. I want this kitchen so much, it almost makes me overlook that whole detail of not wanting to own a house.

If you got all the way through the GeekVice podcast that I was on, you may have heard me suggest reading Pretty Deadly. If you’ve already read Pretty Deadly, good for you! If you haven’t, go read it now! The artwork is gorgeous and the story is compelling. Why am I bringing this up? Pretty Deadly is coming back in September! You’ll want to be all the way caught up before it returns, won’t you?

If you want to see all the stories I like and find worth sharing, please visit my Newsblur.