Please note that this post may only make sense to people from Kansas City.*

When I was in Driver’s Ed, one of the things I had to learn how to do was parallel park. Because, you know, it’s kind of handy sometimes.

However, my instructor said:

Oh, you live in Johnson County. You’ll never need to parallel park.

Keep in mind, this was the late 90s and Downtown Kansas City had not yet gone through its revival. Downtown was a somewhat seedy place where you were unlikely to find white suburban girls hanging out and doing fun stuff. I’m not saying it was horrible and unsafe or anything like that, just that’s the perception that existed out in South Johnson County, where most of the kids wore Abercrombie & Fitch and Tommy Hilfiger clothing in an unironic sort of way and thought a ten year old car was like, way old.

Also? Why don’t you have a Backstreet Boys CD in your car? What do you mean, your car doesn’t have a CD player? Just a tape deck? That’s so five years ago.

You get the gist.

I really need to learn to parallel park properly someday. I can pull into spots, but I can’t wiggle in to proper parking spots. When I go to my favorite Chinese restaurant, when I visit the Crossroads, when I am trying to wait for someone downtown, when I try to find a parking spot on a crowded street…I think of that man and I curse him out in my head every time.

*If you’re not from Kansas City and actually read this, bravo.**

**But seriously, say hi in the comments. I’m curious about you now.***

***OK, not like that. Probably.****

****Now I’m just being ridiculous.*****

*****Always.******

******Now I’m kind of weepy. If you know why, I again invite you to say hi in the comments.

Gentlemen, too, if you wear’em.

Click on this magnificent bundle of bra-related links.

Take a look at the links involving fit.

Check the picture examples.

If your bras fit like any of the bad examples, go get professionally fitted at a fancy ass bra shop. If you’re in Kansas City, I highly recommend Intimate Designs. They will help you find a properly-fitting bra and they will even provide free alterations to help improve how the bra fits.

I recently tried out Clair de Lune and they seem to be pretty good. There’s a decent selection fitting a wide range of sizes.

1. People do not appreciate metaphors involving cockroaches.

2. Even if a tire is technically patchable, the garage may refuse to patch the tire if it’s worn down too far.

3. It is possible to buy a full set of tires for less than $330.

4. It is still possible in this economy to go from being angry about a bad review to being offered a new job in 2 weeks if you are sufficiently motivated.

5. It was more luck than motivation. I was in the right place at the right time.

6. I should shop more at Marshall’s. I bought a decent swimsuit for $13. All the women reading this swore and made plans to go to Marshall’s soon. None of the men gave a crap.

7. People are charmed/amused by the way I can’t get a pedicure without giggling like a 13 year old girl who just spotted her crush at the mall.

8. Mochas and yellow shirts don’t mix well.

9. The AMC at Ward Parkway is really nice and has comfy leather recliners.

10. Avengers is an awesome movie and I need to see it eleventy-billion more times.

I have a new man in my life. He’s a bit flamboyant, but I think it adds to his charm.

Turns out my calendar is slightly off–can you see what’s wrong?

The crossing guard at my intersection has been gone all week. There was a cop there today, wearing the crossing guard vest.

I wonder what happened to the crossing guard.

I wonder what the cop was thinking as he stood there, waiting for 8 AM and kids.

I wonder why I notice things like missing crossing guards.