Comics Review Pt. 5: Another Marvel Blitz

Spider-Gwen #1:

Um. No. Just…no. I don’t know any teenage girls who talk like Gwen Stacy does in this book. I took a pause in reviewing to make sure that it was removed from my pull list. Eurgh.

Ms. Marvel #12:

Oh hey, an actual teenage girl. Written by a woman. Hm. Seems to be making a difference. Sheesh.

Loki! Loki is in this one! I love how Ms. Marvel gets so many crossovers and visiting characters. Loki gets mistaken for a Brooklyn hipster. This is fucking precious in the best possible way.

Bruno, you are awesome:

ms marvel bruno friend zone

Loki spiked the punch at the school dance with truth serum and some of the truths are fucking gold, including some of the truths Loki ends up spilling at the end after being doused with punch.

There’s not a lot of action in the story, beyond a brief fight between Kamala and Loki. It’s mostly enriching some of the emotional arcs–Bruno’s crush on Kamala, her desire to do normal teenage things like go to a dance and flirt with boys, and Loki’s desire to resolve issues with brains and not fighting.

Captain Marvel #12:

Carol returns to her ship to find that Tic and Chewie are gone and her ship is about to be attacked. So, not the best day ever. Unfortunately, she makes a tactical mistake and flies her ship into a funky bit of space that is going to slow her down by a lot. In the meantime, Chewie’s captors are planning to use her as the ultimate weapon and then kill her when they’re done. I suspect that won’t end well–for them.

Black Widow #15:

Oh, Phil Noto. Your artwork is magical and I look forward to getting something signed by you at Planet Comicon. Hopefully my friends will prevent me from babbling like an ass.

Starts out with Nat getting her ass kicked by Chaos, but the Winter Soldier comes in and saves her! Nat and Bucky then chase down a falling helicopter full of bad guys. She then gets captured by one of the bad guys. She’s not having a good time this issue and frankly, I’m kind of annoyed that the writer has her agency so affected by men in this issue. She’s saved by Bucky. She’s captured by a mystery man. One of the things I like about Black Widow is she does things, so it’s frustrating to me that this issue is all about things happening to her. Hopefully the next issue picks up.

Loki: Agent of Asgard? #11:

Ehh….Asgardian bullshit. Um, let’s see. Loki is exposed as the echo/killer of kid Loki (I would explain, but frankly, that’s a headache I don’t feel like experiencing). Freyja exiles him from Asgard. Sif thinks he might not be so bad after all. Loki goes on a navel-gazing journey in a space between the Realms and has a chat with Odin.

Odin sets Loki on fire (he’s a great father, I tell you) and sends him back to Midgard. Where…another Loki is waiting for him. King Loki. He’s an ass who drives off Verity and then promises to tell Loki all about how he fucks everything up and becomes King Loki. I hope I can survive this arc without removing Loki from my pull list due to sheer boredom.

Thor #5:

Oh fucking hell, more Asgard. Apparently Odin’s all butt-hurt because Thor now wields Mjölnir and the hammer and title no longer belong to Odinson.

There’s a two page spread of Thor fighting Absorbing Man that appears to be written for the guys who whined about Thor being a woman. Fucking magical. Thank you for that, Jason Aaron. I think I need your signature now, too.

Odinson talks to Odin and tells him that yes, he gave Thor the hammer and the title and no, his father does not need to go and snatch it back. It does appear that Odin may be slightly loony tunes at the moment. Not only is he butting heads with Odinson about Thor, but he’s also brought his murdering brother back and named him Royal Inquisitor and Minister of Justice. Odinson is not on board with this decision, seeing as how Cul tried to kill him.

Odinson and Sif have a heart to heart, that ends with her threatening to fight him the next time they see each other. He appears to have a special talent for saying the exact wrong thing.

Next we see Thor on the moon, where she’s warned by Freyja that Odin is somewhat put out and will be throwing a temper tantrum in her direction sometime soon.

She-Hulk #12:

It’s the end of this wonderful book. I’m going to take a moment to pout.

Now that’s done, time to recap! We find out what the Blue File is all about–apparently Nightwatch killed off an entire town to convince the world he was a good guy. Might have had a bit more emotional depth for me if I knew who the hell Nightwatch was.

So, there’s a fight. He puts a whammy on Jennifer and she beats up Patsy on his command. Angie Huang (paralegal extraordinaire) breaks the hold he has on Jennifer so she can then capture and subdue Nightwatch. The action scenes are clearly illustrated and I am going to miss the artwork in this series so very much.

Angie tries to quit, but Jennifer talks her out of it because they’re got a big case coming up against Jennifer’s old firm. The next mission? Defending the Inhumans in a lawsuit. I hope that She-Hulk gets her own series again soon.

Cameo: Howard the Duck. Because his #1 issue will be coming out next week. Yeah, no. You probably won’t see me reviewing that one.